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single-mother | Father Hunger - How Father Absence Impacts Our Youth

Are you a Gatekeeper?

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Often times, in a relationship between a mothers and fathers, the mother serves as a gatekeeper to determine how involved the father is in the childs life.  While this is not the only barrier, this can create a very challenging situation for a father who wants to be involved in their childs life.  Of course, the father has to take initiative to be involved in the childs life.  See the article by Sue Shellenbarger of the Wall Street Journal to learn more about the role of the gatekeeper in a childs life.

Read more about our National Partner and how rffDads can help you understand the Mom as a Gatekeeper and the 24/7 Dads cirriculum

The Biggest Reason Why Men Repeat the Cycle

You really hit the nail on the head. I can definitely relate to your feelings. As a man, I wanted a son but I knew that I was going to be satisfied with 2 kids regardless of the sex of the child. I now understand why God blessed me with 2 beautiful daughters. I was not ready because of the issue you mentioned.

I have had the opportunity to mentor family members that were younger than me but I never understood why I never felt comfortable with doing it until I started learning more about fatherhood. Now I understand why and as I see, I am not alone.

Thank God I decided as a youngster to be a great dad. It is my most challenging and most rewarding job in life and I would not have it any other way. We do not have to repeat the cycle! There is a lot of hurt and lack of education that I am glad to be involved in this cause. Keep up the good work.

Originally posted as a comment; by rffdads on God’s Politics using Disqus

Father Absence and Substance Abuse

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Parents, especially fathers, really are the anti-drug.

Children are more likely to use and abuse drugs when they grow up without involved, responsible, and committed fathers in their lives. Drugs and alcohol often serve as surrogates for children who experience a lack of love from and emotional connection to their family and community. Good dads step into that void and raise children who are less likely to use drugs.

The Facts

  • Researchers at Columbia University found that children living in two-parent households with a poor relationship with their father are 68% more likely to smoke, drink, or use drugs compared to all teens in two-parent households. Moreover, teens in single-mother households fared much worse. They had a 30% higher risk than those in all two-parent households.1
  • Father closeness reduces the number of a child’s friends who smoke tobacco, drink, and use marijuana. Father closeness also reduces a child’s use of alcohol, cigarettes, and hard drugs. Also, intact (married, two-parent) families ranked higher on father closeness than single parent families.2
  1. “Survey Links Teen Drug Use, Relationship With Father.” Alcoholism & Drug Abuse Weekly 6 September 1999:5.
  2. National Fatherhood Initiative. “Family Structure, Father Closeness, & Drug Abuse.” Gaithersburg, MD: National Fatherhood Initiative, 2004:20-22.

Father Absence and Sexual Activity

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  • Fathers play a crucial role in sexuality and relationships.
  • A father’s behavior and values uniquely influence a girl’s expectations about boyfriends and husbands.  
  • In addition, boys learn how to treat girls and what kind of husband and father they should become from their fathers.

 Boys raised in single-mother homes are at a higher risk of teen pregnancy, marrying with less than a high school degree, and forming a marriage where both partners have less than a high school degree.1

Teenage girls without fathers were twice as likely to be involved in early sexual activity and seven times more likely to get pregnant as other adolescents.2

  • Separation or frequent residential changes increase a woman’s risk of early menarche, sexual activity, and pregnancy. Women whose parents separated between birth and six years old experienced twice the risk of early menstruation, more than four times the risk of early sexual intercourse, and two and a half times the risk of early pregnancy when compared to women in intact families. The longer a woman lived with both parents, the lower her risk of early reproductive development.3

     

 

  1. Teachman, Jay D. ” The Childhood Living Arrangements of Children and the Characteristics of Their Marriages”, Journal of Family issues 25 (January 2004): 86-111.
  2. Ellis, Bruce J., John E. Bates, Kenneth A. Dodge, David M. Ferguson, L. John Horwood, Gregory S. Petit, and Lianne Woodward. “Does Father Absence Place Daughters at Special Risk for Early Sexual Activity and Teenage Pregnancy?” Child Development 74 (May/June 2003); 801-821.
  3. Quinlan, Robert J. “Father absence, parental care, and female reproductive development.” Evolution and Human Behavior 24 (November 2003):376-390.

Father Absence and Poverty

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“Promoting responsible fatherhood…is one of the most important things we can do to reduce child poverty”  Former Vice President Al Gore at the National Fatherhood Initiative’s National Summit on Fatherhood in June, 2000

Father absence and poverty are strongly related.  Data shows that it’s more difficult to get fathers to provide financial support when they are not married to the mother and when they lack an emotional connection to their children.

Children in father-absent homes are five times more likely to be poor.  In 2002, 7.8 percent of children in married-couple families were living in poverty, compared to 38.4 percent of children in female-household familes. 1

Fourty-five percent of unmarried mothers in large U.S. cities are poor and another 28% are “near poor”, with incomes 200% below the poverty line. 2

As you can see, it is very challenging for the mothers to raise their children without financial support.  Think of the impact this is having on a life that was bought into this world.  Yes, a life that did not ask to be bought into the world.  It is time to take a stand for our children and build up our communities to remove the impact of poverty on the future generations.   We need to take back our communities and invest in Entreprenuership so that we can own assets that create generational wealth.

I don’t have to say anymore on this topic because you already know the results.  Jails are full and the crime rate is at an all time high.  Public dollars are being invested into more prisons to hold the future generations instead of addressing the issue. 

1 U.S. Census Bureau, Children’s Living Arrangements and Characteristics:  March 2002, p200-547, Table C8.  Washington D.C.: GPO, 2003.

2 McLanahan, Sara.  The Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study:  Baseline National Report. Figure 3.  Princeton, NJ: Center for Research on Child Wellbeing, 2003:11.

Why is Father Absence such a nasty problem?

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 Father Absence is not a single issue. Father absence is an epidemic. Tonight, more than 24 million children are going through their day without the love and support of their biological father. Where are the dads? Why do we care at Rffdads? Children without involved, responsible, and committed fathers are being setup for failure.

What do I mean by failure? Children without a committed father suffer in areas of economic, health, educational, emotional, behavioral, and psychological well-being.

Our kids are acting out and the medication is a band-aid not the root cause of the problem. It is more important to find the source of the problem than to cover it up. There are several factors directly linked to father absence that the public needs to be aware of.

  • Father Absence and Crime
  • Father Absence and Poverty
  • Father Absence and Physical Health
  • Father Absence and Sexual Activity
  • Father Absence and Child Abuse
  • Father Absence and Education

     

Reference: Keider, Rose M. and Jason Field, The Living Arrangements of Children:2001, Current Population Reports, p70-104, Washington, D.C.: U.S. Census Burreau, 2005.

No Child Left Behind

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Is the No Child Left Behind laws effective?  Within the current system, the child will be promoted from grade level to grade level and graduate high school.  If the child’s not ready for college and does not have the skills necessary to get a job in corporate America, where is the child going?  You are right, to a place it’s going to cost the tax payer!

This is broken, we got to fix it!!

 

Do you Believe in Abortion?

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Why is it that so many men have aborted their children although the mothers have not aborted the child? Maybe it was a bad relationship, one nightstand, etc. that created a new life. Regardless to the situation, a child needs their father. I know there can be many issues surrounding those situations. The bottom line, there is a life involved and YOU are responsible.

Sometimes we have to let go of our ego for the child that we bought into this world. That child did not ask to be bought into this world. Little boys need their fathers to learn how to be a man. Just as important, little girls need their fathers to learn how a man is supposed to be a man. If you want to learn more about the impacts of fathers aborting their children, read the extensive report about the absent father in the home. Cost of the Absentee Father

Don’t let your children down. Everyone wants to be on a winning team. Commit today to help your children win. Think of all the situations in life that a child goes through:

 

Just to name a few of the life event a dad should enjoy with their kid
   
  • First crawl
  • First walk
  • First tooth
  • Riding a bike
  • Playing
  • Running
  • Throwing a ball
  • Loosing their 1st tooth First day of school
  • Learning to read
  • First sporting event – swimming, football, basketball, cheerleading, etc.
  • father-daughter dance or father-son day out(fishing, camping, etc.)
  • First date
  • First job Graduation
  • First Drive
  • High School Graduation
  • College
  • College Graduation
  • Wedding

Will you be there for your kids or have you Aborted your children? Ask yourself if you are being the man and dad that you really want to be or always thought you would be. Contact RffDads today!

Finances is a Contributor to Father Hunger

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Do you think the number one cause of divorce is finances?  It is an age old debate that you may find multiple answers.  Does money cause many marriages to fail?  Maybe I should research that for a future article but I do know that lack of a committed father in the home increases the likelihood that a child will grow up in poverty. 

I like you,  know of some fathers that do what they have to do to support their kids.  I applaud the fathers that are handling their responsibility.  I know that other issues arise due to child support agreements and I will definitely write about some of those issues at a later date. 

All I know is more often fathers are not in the picture financially or physically and it is setting our future generations up for failure.  If the kids are growing up in poverty, life is more challenging.  That is a life that did not ask to come into this world and costs the taxpayers a lot of money anually to fund programs for those in need. 

If you are a father and your finances are challenging, we want you to do your part to take care of your kids.  Contact RffDads and we will share with you what we can do to not only help with your day to day finances but what are you doing for your kids future.

Are You Preparing Your Children for Success or Failure?

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Having a child is one of the biggest responsibilities we have in our lifetime. Along with the responsibility comes many choices. As dads, it is our responsibility to do EVERYTHING we can to make sure our children have the opportunity to succeed. If we don’t take our responsibility seriously, we set our kids up for failure. You may be a great dad and I applaud you but if you know you are not doing everything to set your kid up for success, it is never too late. Act Today!

How do you end Father Hunger? One child at a time is how. 1 out of 3 children will go to bed tonight without their fathers. Contact Us today and find out how you can get involved to end father hunger.


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